Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
