check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
