there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
