We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He better not be in your backpack
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
