bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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