Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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