I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
