you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
