They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
