8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
