I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
