we're blogging at a bar
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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