Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
