Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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