Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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