I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
