I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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