we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
