wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize