on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So much rum. So many feels.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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