I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
