Christians are straight up FREAKS
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
