Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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