i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
