what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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