This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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