You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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