so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
