I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When are your genitals available?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
