I'm going to jail i love you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
