Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
