nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
