I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
