one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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