hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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