how can u be prego again
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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