I am puke
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
And then he peed in my hair
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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