Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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