:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
