I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
