i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
