so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
