At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize