I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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