Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
