Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
