I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
