I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
