Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
