I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
