Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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