my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
