Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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