Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
