Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
