i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
