dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love you.
Bad choice
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