Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
