They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
