My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
