normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize