I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
