I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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