is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I lost the right to judge tonight
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
