i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We're not piercing ourselves today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize