Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
