I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
